Friday, 1 June 2018

Zinedine Zidane rides off into the sunset on motorbike wearing shades; Real Madrid need new manager

Zinedine Zidane has quit his job as manager of Real Madrid, having led the team to three straight Champions League victories and quitting before anyone realises that he hasn't actually done that much.



Oh Zidane, you are the best manager ever. Can you even believe it? Three Champs Leagues in a row with only the best individual players in the world, having had several years working together to become an actual team before he even took over. A genius.

Now Real Madrid must decide who replaces Zidane to manage a team who absolutely no way will win a fourth in a row, because that is mental. It's a job for someone who always gets close but never quite seals the deal. Enter: Arsene Wenger!

That's right, ol' Arsene turned down Real Madrid while overseeing that pesky stadium move and is now second favourite to become the new Real Madrid manager, with various places offering odds on his as such You can check out Novibet if you like and see just what those are, but I'll tell you for free that Mauricio Pochettino is their first choice. How apt that Spurs lead Arsenal in this regard too. Wenger's really left a tremendous legacy. 'Close is good enough!' will adorn the posters of many a wall, except with 'fam' or 'blud' written before the !

And so here we are. Zidane, a true legend of the managerial game after 2 and a half seasons where he was like 'Ronaldo, do a goal' and then Ronaldo did a goal or went 'Toni Kroos, dominate the midfield with your passing and moving please' and then Toni Kroos did exactly that, has left the Bernebue, walking off into the distance with explosions going off behind him, police helicopters crashing into the ground and an AC/DC track playing out of... something.

There he is, speeding along the highway in his Dodge Viper - or whatever the thing from Vanishing Point is - and in his place, Wenger, a man who spent 89 years driving at the speed limit to avoid getting a ticket that he could easily pay. A man who makes sure he doesn't get charged for tap water at the restaurant. A man who eats loads of the bread so he doesn't need to get a starter as well. A man who who prefers wine in his garden. A man who thinks Alex Iwobi doesn't have much to improve on. I have loads more of these.

Also I should be clear that the title to this means Zidane is wearing shades, not the motorbike. That would just be silly! lol!