Sunday, 30 April 2017

Sunderland relegated, Moyes can travel to home planet

Sunderland are one of the worst Premier League sides I've ever seen and on Saturday they successfully managed to relegate themselves by losing to Bournemouth. All glory to David Moyes.


David Moyes has said various positive things during his time at Sunderland, things like "we need to win games" and "we need to score goals" and "I can't wait to return to my home planet, which I will be able to do once I've completed my transformation from elite level manager to relegator" and yes, that's how I'm choosing to spell relegator. Which isn't even a word.

Anyway. So there Moyes was, getting Sunderland relegated and suddenly a bright light shone from the sky .HEAVENS ABOVE the crowd chanted, probably in tune with that Crystal Palace song that everyone else is stealing now. GET YOUR OWN SONGS! I hate that, when teenagers start trying to be real die hard fans by just using someone elses's songs. The Ed Sheerans of football chants.

Review and compare all bookies and all of the best betting sites available in the UK if you want to, but any way Moyes can now return to his home planet, called "Scotland" where he can enjoy a successful post-management career. He's not left Sunderland yet but the only way to return to his true form is to believe, just like you with your dreams. If you want to shag the ice cream man, boy, you just go out and do it. Believe. But get consent first OK bye see ya later.