Monday, 2 May 2016

Mamadou Sakho is bad

African American Liverpool defender, Mamadou Sakho, has been banned from life after failing a drugs test.

Sakho is alleged to have taken a fat burner supplement which is banned by UEFA and will now probably miss Euro 2016 and possibly even more football after that because of his insatiable thirst for delicious drugs.

Apparently Sakho failed the test when answering the question "Do you like drugs" with "No... I love them! Also I am on drugs right now."

The good thing about Mamadou Sakho is that his first name is from that Pixie Lott song and Pixie Lott is hot as fuck.

There are collapsed villages in Syria which have taken less damage than Pixie Lott has in my dreams.