Sunday, 22 May 2016

Louis Van Gaal just wants to be loved

Louis Van Gaal won the FA Cup on Saturday and was rewarded by lots of journalists asking him about whether he'll still be manager next season, because nobody is allowed to enjoy anything anymore.

Ed Woodward has cashed out early on his LVG plan and hired the mercenary Jose Mourinho because United fans keep moaning about only finishing near the top four. While the spoilt supporters cry over dull football, the good news is that Mourinho's title winning sides have all been incredibly fucking boring to watch. It also spells the end of Marcus Rashford and Jesse Lingard's development at the club as Mourinho sends them to Serie B on loan until they are 28 and ready to track back more.