Thursday, 14 April 2016

Karim Benzema is banned from France

The France football federations (the feds for short) has banned Karim Benzema from all of France 2016 and said he must never return for he has brought great shame to his family, and also because he was ALLEGEDLY holding a teammate ransom over an adult video in which he starred, like when your friend shows you this video of these two people banging who work for the same company as them but you don't try and blackmail them so really it's not quite the same. Quite the story.

The news will come as a shock most of all to Karim Benzema, who until now had quite enjoyed being French. In a statement he said:
Haw hee haw, zose French dogs will nezer keep me, Kareem Benzema, from allegedly blackmailing my teammates. I speet on their faces, arrogant pig dogs
And then he rode off into the sunset and looked at instagram for a while. then a bit of twitter, bbc sport, twitter again, the daily mail website, a football forum, about 40 minutes of reddit and then various porn videos until he found one he liked oh no hang on i see what i've done here. I dont' know what Benzema actually did. But it's probably similar. Except it's like 'les sport'.