Sunday, 3 April 2016

Cronaldo has totally still got it

Cristiano Ronaldo won the trophy for best man in Spain last night as his 85th minute goal secured a vital three points for Zinedine Zidane in El Clasico, which is spelt with one S and not two.


I'm pretty sure I would full on bang Ronaldo if the opportunity arose, so to speak. I'm in a club and Ronaldo walks over and says 'can I buy you a drink' and I'm like 'WHAT? SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU' and he goes 'CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?' and I say 'UHHH YEH LIKE A BEER OR SOMETHING' and he comes back with a beer and a water for himself obvs but already I'm fucked off by how bad the music is so I go 'IT'S SO LOUD I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING' and then I guess I just fuck him in the toilets or something. I don't mind. Maybe outside?