Thursday, 14 April 2016

Aston Villa to execute underperforming players

Aston Villa have taken radical steps to make it seem like they're more fussed about the financial loss of relegation than actually being relegated, by banning some sort of internet poll they were going to have.

I've never met Joleon Lescott but he sounds like a really nice guy. Even though his head is enormous and weird, like if that klingon from star trek had gigantism, Lescott is just one of the many Aston Villa players Giving FOotballers A Bad Name. I say give prisoners footballer's wages - haven't they suffered enough? All they've done is commit crimes - Lescott has sent pictures of his fucking car on Twitter! WHERE DOES IT END?! 

so what they've done is not have a 'player of the season award' or party as punishment for all the players being fucking useless. If it were up to me, I'd have a 'which player deserves to be fired from a catapult into the town square' but actually thinking about it even I'm not cruel enough to make anyone actually go into birmingham. The thought alone gives me shivers.