Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Incredible! This football fan read more than just the title of an article about his team... what happened next will make you exhume a corpse

In scenes that will shock the football world, an Arsenal fan read more than just the title of an article about his club before reacting to it.

Discovering an article about lion heart Jack Wilshere by an unnamed newspaper on Twitter, life-time Gooner @HighburyDave could have been excused for instantly concluding that the words he was about to not read were nothing short of damning for his beloved club.

But what happened next shocked him so much it made him literally come.

Deciding to take a step back and read more than just the tweet, HighburyDave discovered something he never expected: the article contained information which added to the title.

"I was shaking. I still am. I mean we all know everything on the internet about Arsenal that I haven't written or that isn't 100% of the same opinion that I have or isn't written by a former Arsenal legend is garbage... but this... this was some words that offered a constructive critique of what the football club is doing and why it seemed unlikely we wouldn't sign a particular player. I couldn't believe my eyes - it made sense"
Initially HighburyDave wanted to begin a social media witch hunt to have the journalist who wrote the title and tweet fired and then beheaded. But on closer reading, he realised that a real person had written words in an order that he could vaguely comprehend.
"When I realised that it wasn't a robot that I could fight, but an actual human that had constructed the rest of the article, I knew I was wrong about Twitter."
Now HighburyDave hopes to gain his own career in football writing despite having previously acknowledged that every single football writer online who doesn't support Arsenal is a "sloppy journalist" or operating on a "slow news day".

Whether football journalists on Twitter will recover from the loss of a person who reads their article instead of reacting to its title, remains to be seen. We can only hope that no more digital blood is shed.

Peter Braithwaite, ITV News, Channel 4.