Newcastle fans rejoice for I have made a cartoon in which Alan Shearer tries to buy a Twix from John Carver. IT'S ALL METAPHOR
I can't help but feel sorry for Newcastle fans. It's pointless now, isn't it?
Supporting Newcastle United must be like living with an ex, who you still love dearly but now just to annoy you she keeps bringing guys round to the house you live in together. And then have to listen to them bang each other through the walls while you cry yourself to sleep at night. And at the end of that you still pay her rent because you remember all the good times. Even though the new guys are all fat and Mike Ashley.
I think I did this better in the cartoon. Alan Shearer's voice is definitely in no way provided by @footballcliches btw. Which is a shame because he's good at it