Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Mesut Ozil definitely did not bang this girl

Mesut Ozil has been accused of banging a hot girl. This is bad because he had a girlfriend at the time and some guy I've never heard of is telling this to people in the newspapers. The German newspapers.

Above is a picture of Melanie something or other, and below is a picture of thingy thing:

I have cleverly labelled both people in this picture so you do not get confused. Ozil is said to be considering legal action against German Man A, who alleges that Ozil used his "fame" to "muscle in" on his girl (the top one) while he was going out with his own girl (bottom left).

Unfortunately Mesut Ozil was unable to provide comment to me because he is actually in the process of being euthanised right now, seeing as how that's the most humane thing you could do to him at the moment. If he wasn't so busy (allegedly) shagging around maybe he wouldn't be so fucking useless at football. There are high schools in rural Dundee with higher pass percentages.