Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Manchester United want money from abroad

Now that nobody watches the Champions League anymore because Manchester United aren't in it, the club want to explore other money making avenues. Like playing friendlies against rich people.


Football Manager has taught us that Champions League participation is worth £7million plus lots of TV money, but real life people have estimated that not being in the competition this year will cost about £40million for United. I don't know whether this is real or not or is based on the same made up numbers people use for the stock market.

"Oh no Apple's shares have gone down $26billion today oh but now they're up $14billion that's good". 

There's this absolute dick head of a cat who keeps trying to get into my house through the back door by my kitchen by the way. I know this doesn't effect you, but that's exactly how I feel about the stock market and Man United missing £40million so I just thought I'd write it down. Ed Woodward's solution is to play games against MLS teams like NYRB and LAGLXY but I think a much more lucrative solution would be to form a sort of caliphate in the middle east, since that apparently makes more money than many legitimate countries could ever dream of through oil production and it didn't even seem that hard to do in the first place.

Plus, the people who have joined ISIS seem about as fickle in what they believe in as Man United fans anyway so the foundations are there.