Wednesday, 15 October 2014

Joe Hart and James Milner go for a night out in Aberdeen

Manchester City stars Joe Hart and James Milner helped England beat Estonia 1-0 on whenever the hell that was and afterwards flew to Aberdeen for a p.a.r.t.WHY? fuck knows.

Above is a goalkeeper with a student called Katherine Price and below is someone on Twitter called @grantinhand who ran into James Milner:

Judging by where these two are standing, I have deduced that the England players were probably drinking in somewhere called Paramount Bar. If you haven't been there before, don't worry about it. Just imagine a place that you don't ever want to have to go, but that your girlfriend knows someone that never, ever goes out and when they do they spend their entire time on Facebook but it's their engagement party and you have to go, and then you go and you decide that simply breaking up with your girlfriend isn't enough, you're going to have to literally kill her and hide the body in the harbour. Tonight. If you can imagine that then you're getting close.

There isn't really anything more to the story than that if I'm perfectly honest and as much as I want to tell you that the night ended with Joe Hart being thrown out of Exodus for doing the crab dance too violently at 12:30am on a week night, I would be lying. Because that was me. Twice.