Friday, 11 July 2014

Luis Suarez is still banned for biting a human

One of the things that we have not discussed on FitbaThatba is Luis Suarez biting that man. Because the subject is still so fresh and no-one has done any memes on it, I thought it would be good to point out to you that FIFA have not reduced his punishment.

Someone at FIFA said:
"blah blah blah that ban we gave him is still totally happening"
And newspapers everywhere went "no way" and so he's still banned because he bit someone. A lot of people have said things like 'if I bit someone at work I'd get fired!' but what they're forgetting is that they work in an office and aren't important. At all. As in if they didn't show up for a few days everyone would just shrug and go "oh I wonder where he's gone. What will I have in my sandwich for lunch today?". Luis Suarez has money - have you really not figured out how the world works yet?

Anyway, as you and everyone is aware, Luis Suarez is moving to Barcelona in exactly eleven days and he is quite keen to make sure he's actually allowed to play for them. This is like when that guy wearing full prison dress came to my party but he was still technically a convict and had to go back to prison once someone at the party grassed him up. And I was disappointed about that cos I hadn't seen my Dad for about four years before that day.