Monday, 19 May 2014

Louis Van Gaal is the Manchester United manager

In horrible, bone chilling news, Manchester United have just revealed that Louis Van Gaal is the new Manchester United manager.  WHO KNEW!??!!!?!?!


Manchester United successfully kept this brand new news secret until their announcement today and journalists everywhere are scratching their heads as to how they didn't know.  Even questions like 'when will Louis Van Gaal be given the job?' didn't work, and even the more investigative amongst them couldn't break down the secrecy walls.  Luckily I made a cartoon detailing how he was selected, which you can watch below.


In other news, Ryan Giggs is the assistant manager and two other Dutch guys I've never heard of are the assistant coaches.  A club statement said:
"In Louis van Gaal, we have secured the services of one of the outstanding managers in the game today. He has achieved many things in his career to date and Old Trafford provides him with a fitting stage on which to write new chapters in the Manchester United story"
My friend at work thinks Manchester United will win the league next year now, but I'm just looking forward to the Glazers slowly realising they've hired someone actually mental.  And I don't mean in an adorable old teacher kind of way, I mean as in he's not just being wacky when he makes all his players strip to their pants and paint their nightmares as an exercise - he's genuinely ill.  Then again, if modern medical practises for mental health had been around when I was 8, my Mum wouldn't have that framed picture of Ainsley Harriott covered in jam stealing my Megadrive on her wall.