Sunday, 4 May 2014

Chelsea can't score, Terry can, Cole cries

It was Ashley Cole's last home game for Chelsea, and it went exactly how he always dreamed it would... drawing 0-0 at home to Norwich.

Chelsea just kissed goodbye to any chance of winning the league, and John Terry kissed goodbye to Ashley Cole. It's strange, as much as I hate Ashley Cole, I cannot help but think that he's been totally fucked over. He couldn't really have been any better for Chelsea in his career, and even now when he can't run - he's still really good.  Although I imagine they would "only" offer him about £30k per week, which would be enough for him to crash his car in shock and disgust.

Imagine it was your last day and you've already made a twat of yourself by crying, and then to make it worse John Terry comes along to comfort you. To make it worse, he's now got FitbaThatba calling him a vagina, and I'm sure that hurts the most of all. Even in that picture above of John sweetly embracing young Ashley, you know his thought bubble would say, "I absolutely cannot wait to shag your missus again tonight".

Cole will now have to console himself with the thought of signing for another team, probably in Paris, Milan or Madrid earning a few million a year, having countless women throwing themselves at him and driving a Ferrari. But is he happy? Yes, yes he is.

Oh yeah and there was also a game of football against Norwich which ended goalless that I definitely didn't bother watching. I would rather discuss the workings of Jean-Paul Satre with Joey Barton while listening to Sir Cliff,  than watch Chelsea.