Kevin Phillips has announced that he plans to retire at the end of the season, bringing to an end a career that has overseen two world wars HAHA BECAUSE HE'S OLD
Super Kev deserves a decent photo because I actually really like him. He's one of the only players in Premier League history to score 30 goals or more in one season, joining the likes of Alan Shearer, Thierry Henry, Cristiano Ronaldo, Andy Cole and Luis Suarez in a prestigious elite club. It's not as prestigious as the elite club I'm part of, which is called the NO GIRLS CLUB. It's clever you see, because since they aren't allowed to join, all the girls will want to! I'm a genius. All I have to do now is wait in my shed (HQ) and wait for the hotties to roll in once they've read the sign.