Monday, 7 April 2014

Is it time for Arsene Wenger to step down?

Arsenal got shagged harder than your sister at a One Direction concert after party this weekend, as Everton completely destroyed them.  In much the same way that I need to write new jokes, it seems that Wenger needs some new tactics

Before the signing of Mesut Ozil there were a large section of Arsenal fans calling for Wenger to wise up, belonging to the misguided ideal that simply throwing money at a problem will make it go away and win you things, Rangers.

I'd been drinking in the 'Arsene should stay because he's brilliant' pub for years but after watching the absolute hiding that he got against Roberto Martinez's side I think I may need to try somewhere new. The decision to continually injure his own players at important parts of the year, put them out with no real energy or desire and start Mikel Arteta, whose contribution to most games is passing the ball very slowly to someone on the wing and looking sexy, has started to become... dare I say it... lame.

I doubt there is any other manager alive who could have taken Arsenal through the last ten years, consistently reaching the Champions League and being there or thereabouts the entire time while making a big shiny new building but Iain McIntosh wrote a brilliant article on the same sort of thing earlier on and now I agree with his point, that it may be time for Wenger to ride his horse into the sunset.  And by horse I of course mean Gervinho.

The most damning evidence of his tenure is that this season I won the Premier League and FA Cup double on FM14 this year, and I'm fucking terrible at it.  You could use that in court it's so water tight, so I know he's under achieving.  Sure, all of the midfielders are injured - again - and they should probably go on to win the FA Cup, and FM14 is actually a video game, but not signing anyone in January besides the broken version of a CM97/98 legend was mental.

I could be proved wrong, of course, but the Arsenal philosophy that 'We don't sign stars, we make them' may prove to be a rather large hindrance as one of its stars collapses in on itself.  That ball of gas in this analogy is Wenger who seems to have forgotten that where arrogance and stubbornness often results in artistic brilliance, it also allows a broken chair to win the Turner Prize.

The wondrous artistry of Arsenal's play is undeniable but then again, so are record sales, and as One Direction continue to defy the gods and sell mp4s, Wenger's band keep putting out albums that only break the top ten with no hit singles.  There's not a true football fan alive who would begrudge the way Arsenal have silently gone about their business, building the club in the 'right way' by nurturing youth and trying to pay everyone equally, but in a world where Park Chu Young and Nicklas Bendtner earn the same amount as Aaron Ramsey, people continue to listen to R&B.

I'm not saying they should go and spend £24million on a player like Matic every January, but I am saying that it probably wouldn't hurt.  Having a bank balance in the black is great and the journey to get there far more entertaining than a single minute of The Hobbit, which is absolutely shite - truly one of the worst movies I've ever seen.  But just like 24, Arsenal fans don't want to watch a great series that promised so much and eventually became a parody of itself.  Where is Jack Bauer now?  I'll tell you where he is, watching Game of Thrones - it has tits and drama.  It's sexy and it delivers.

Then again, if I wanted to watch ten hours of dragon like creatures and brothers and sisters fucking each other I could just hang out in the car park at Asda Dundee.