The greatest ever Australian winger who played for Leeds retired a few days ago meaning that he will never play football again. He was 35.
There's not a man alive who didn't like Harry Kewell when he was at his peak during the ISS98 era. Under the skilful management of David O'Leary, who overspent and underachieved so fantastically that Leeds are still completely fucked right now, Kewell scored several goals, none of which I can remember. Now free from the shackles of football, Kewell has decided to relinquish his slave name and go by his former title of 'Captain Hamstring, Protector of the Seas' and will live on a boat on the canal in Hackney with the rest of the gypsies. If you were wondering where'd they gone, that's where they are. I found them.