Some people have described Lionel Messi has a dribbling dwarf pumped full of steroids and drugs. They also say that about your Mum but now we know how they got him those drugs!
Police in Spain have arrested a bunch of people in connection with this haul of delicious chocolates, according to Sport:
Spanish police have busted a drug trafficking ring involving nine people in Valencia and Alicante. One of those arrested was a master 'Turrónero' — a person who makes Turrón nougat for confectionery stores — who had been using his skills to make marijuana-laced chocolates and nougat containing hallucinogenic mushrooms.This story made me think what would happen if Christopher Nolan made a version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, where Willy Wonka is actually an international drugs tycoon, distributing various narcotics under the guise of a wacky confectionary factory owner. In this version of the story he's made weapons grade wine gums which could fall into the wrong hands and empower soviet russia. "They're just TOO DAMN DELICIOUSSSSSSSSSSS" the solitary soldier yells. And then Batman beats up Wonka on the steps at Trafalgar Square. I haven't really thought that end part through yet but I'm pretty sure I'll be hearing back from Warner Brothers any day now