Thursday, 17 April 2014

Barcelona are fucked, Bale is ace

Barcelona lost their third game in a row for the first time since January 2003 last night, largely in part due to Gareth Bale being an absolute beast of a man.

You kinda expect Bale to be able to do this against Partick Thistle but Barcelona in the Copa Del Ray final?  Whoever Spurs signed with all that money they got must be really good lol k bai !!111!!!x

The man helplessly chasing him here is Marc Bartra, a defender with the acceleration of a milk float someone has driven into a pond.  Afterwards he apparently went down holding his hamstring because 'that' was the reason he got absolutely done.  Another explanation for clutching that part of his body is that your soul is actually in your leg and he was just trying to stop his from escaping.  

The defeat means Barcelona are now going to end the season trophy-less - something I would have thought implausible way back in August.  Everyone hates Tata Martino because he's not from 'within' the family and has muddied the gene pool at Barca with his tactics.  Tactics which include 'losing' and 'playing Lionel Messi on the wing'.  Normally the club hire internally but since Tito Vilanova went and selfishly got cancer again, they had to look abroad, and look where that's got them.

Some say this desire to 'keep things in the family' is rather admirable and the sign of a well run club but I'm pretty sure that's what Josef Fritzl was trying to do.  More comparisons can be drawn when you look at the merchandise both offer - both sell advent calendars all year round.  Barcelona's has delicious chocolate inside, but whenever you try to open a door on the Fritzl one, someone slams it shut and rapes you for seven years