Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Oxlade Chamberlain escapes ban

Because Andre Marriner can't tell brown people apart he sent Keiran Gibbs off for no reason in that Arsenal game everyone keeps talking about.  It was funny.  And even though Alex Oxlade-Long-Name-berlain committed the offence, he's gotten away with it.  Scot free!  MWA HA HA


While the Ox may look like a poorly drawn police photo fit come to life, his acrobatic dive to stop the ball going in his goal resulted in his poor little friend Keiran being sent off.  Both Ox and Gibbs informed the referee that he had mistaken the two but this just confused him even more as he couldn't work out why Keiran Gibbs kept talking to him in different voices.


Later in the game he blew for a foul by Oxlade Chamberlain and was shocked to discover that Kieran Gibbs had returned to play again!  "Why I otta!" he thought to himself, but there was no way he could justify sending him off again, and besides, Arsenal were getting pumped already.

Despite the calamitous error, the FA have rescinded the red card completely, and even better than that, decided not to demote or punish Marriner for his error.  I actually think that's OK because referees get a hard time.  I had to be the linesman for a game I was playing in the other day and my own team mates were fucking shouting at me for not getting decisions right, that I thought I was getting right.  My own team mates.

Anyway, the lack of suspension means Oxlade-Chamberlain can work on his form to get into Roy Hodgson's World Cup squad and play three games this summer.  Is Oxlade going to go? No-one knows but probably yes.  And also I don't care.  No matter who England put on the pitch in any of those games, you have to remember that they're playing in the jungle for some of them and that as always they'll be tired after an exhausting Premier League campaign.  You also have to remember that they are all really shit and were never going to win it anyway