Wednesday, 5 March 2014

Charlie Adam is Awful

Charlie Adam likes to injure people and look old. Most recently he was given a retrospective red card for clearly stamping on Arsenal's Giroud. Not happy with being penalised for being a scumbag, Stoke actually appealed the decision, and lost. Now they are moaning that it's unfair and they are only being punished because they are Stoke, they really are the worst.

That is clearly a man stamping on another man, that man being Charlie Adam. Stoke's argument seems to be that Yaya Toure wasn't penalised for kicking Ricky van Wolfswinkel - which I've just realised is a wolf's dong. Toure should have been punished for kicking the Wolfman but that doesn't change the fact that Charlie Adam is a total dick.

Adam just needed to "plant his foot" and his eyes were on the ball at all times, apparently. His eyes were on Giroud's balls and he wanted those balls, hard. I think we should start a #justiceforstoke campaign. They aren't really a violent team, they are just misunderstood. There is nothing they would like more than to have a nice quiet walk in an autumn meadow. It's just games of football keep getting in the way and they have to boot people in the face to get to that meadow. Charlie's three-match ban still stands, and by the time he is back he will look 67, as he ages five times quicker than the average person. It's a disease, stop making fun.