Wednesday, 19 February 2014

Oliver Giroud is horny / lying

Sexual hound-dog Oliver Giroud looked to have been caught out by some girl in The Sun a week ago or so, as she claimed that he invited her to his hotel room only HOURS before a match against Crystal Palace.  Presumably FOR A ROMP!  Giroud denied it.  BUT THEN


The main problem with this is not that Giroud is actually married but that he was SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING.  OH OLLIE HOW COULD YOU?!  He actually got away with it for a while and told Wenger that she was talking bollocks.  Unfortunately the power of the camera phone was too much for him as The Sun on Sunday helped him discover:


Giroud later issued a series of apologies on Twitter basically saying "woops" and "I think my wife might be annoyed about this" while the girl in question says she's "glad that he told his wife".  The story also says that he didn't bang her, but the state of his knob in those pants looks exactly like he's just finished "using" it, plus the fact she came round at 1am and left at 3am, combined with him yawning in the picture points towards him jizzing and telling her to fuck off.  

For legal reasons I'd like to point out that I'm making all of that bit up.

Anyway, he's going to be fined by Arsene Wenger for lying to him, which is actually the worst crime of all.  Didn't he stop to think about Arsene's feelings?  Maybe he did and that's why he didn't bang the girl.  The thought of Arsene Wenger's longing eyes is enough to kill even the most potent of boners