Thursday, 6 February 2014

David Beckham is Miami

David Beckham announced plans to launch a new MLS franchise in Miami in a press conference today.  The press conference was in Miami.  Oh you don't know?!


Yes, Miami: famous for its party lifestyle, beaches and aggressive illegal hispanic immigrants is set to be the next team in America's fast growing soccer league.  Beckham didn't set a starting date for the team or even give it a name, but at the end of the press conference some guys ran on the stage in blue scarves that said MLS Miami, so I assume it's called MLS Miami


Luckily for DBecks, his old pal Will Smith from Fresh Prince will be on hand to show him where all the booty tang will be slutting it up and let him know which place has the best wings.  Beckham was asked whether Alex Ferguson would be manager, to which he replied 'hell no' and then round-housed the question man in his face and then hit a freekick into the top corner against Greece.

At this point I think I'm obliged to make some jokes about Beckham being really stupid or something about the Spice Girls, but since it isn't 1998 anymore and I don't work for the Daily Mail I won't.  Perhaps I should do some the war or racism?  How about this:

I went to French self defence lessons the other day.  They were going well until the instructor asked me to attack him, at which point he surrendered and hid behind a table