Monday, 3 February 2014

Aberdeen are in a CUP FINAL / blah blah Neil Lennon

In the biggest footballing news of the weekend, Aberdeen successfully navigated their way to the Scottish League Cup Final by pummelling St Johnstone in to the ground.  4-0. FOUR NIL          ALL GLORY TO THE GRANITE CITY


The mighty Dons opened the scoring in the third minute and despite the best efforts of the referee, managed to build on their lead with a further three.  Which equals four.  I couldn't even watch the game because I live in London and there were no streams but I listened to it on the radio, which makes me perfectly eligible to comment on the game.  End to end stuff.  Offside!  Soccer!

Now we have to play Inverness Caledonian Thistle in a final probably held at either 'fake Ireland fc' or the 'Hun's dungeon' for the first chance of winning silverware that I've been genuinely conscious of since being born way back in 85.  Playing Celtic in a cup final doesn't count as a genuine chance, btw.

Even the Daily Rangers were excited about it:


Amongst all the celebrations of the game, rather annoyingly, some morons amongst the phenomenal Dandies support threw a bunch of stuff, including coins, at Neil Lennon.  And while yes, he is a colossal bellend, you shouldn't throw stuff at him as it will only make him stronger.  Or because you're not supposed to.  Either will do.  He told the BBC:
"I don't want to take anything away from what is a great day for Aberdeen. I don't think that's fair and I can't apportion any blame to them.
"It's just a section of supporters who probably have had far too much to drink. I don't think it's sectarian either, by the way, I just think it's drink-fuelled and, yes, it is unacceptable."
What nonce of a journalist has tried to get a sectarian line out of him there?  Now if I had been sat in seats near to Neil Lennon, I would have tried to wind him up.  That's just going to happen. It would be like taking a tiny dog into a pub and telling me not to play with it.  My line of attack would have been to yell 'Neeeeillllllll' over and over and over and over and over


Conversely, the neanderthal doughnut approach was to hurl coins at his face.
"I'm sitting in the directors' box and I'm actually with a lot of the Aberdeen staff." he said.
"I'm sitting next to Billy Brown and two of my own staff. You get the usual abuse, which is fine, you can live with that.
"But then I was aware that a coin flew past my head and actually hit an Aberdeen member of staff on the back.
It's a bit like when you're in a moving car and all of a sudden you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to open the door - you know you shouldn't do it but the urge is just ridiculous.  It would be mad not to!  The sensible people however don't do it because it would result in serious injury, but those of a slightly less.... sane disposition will gladly throw themselves out of a speeding vehicle if it means they have a chance of throwing juice at Neil Lennon.  I'd just like to point out that I've never had an urge to throw a coin at anyone
"At half-time, the stewards moved us, which was fine, they were looking out for us. We moved to a row just in front of the press box. 
"When Aberdeen scored the third goal, I don't know what it was, a drink of some sort, again it came flying over my head and missed me and landed in the press box and hit a couple of the journalists there."
It sounds like a cartoon version of Band of Brothers, except instead of a battalion of heroes surviving a mortar round in their dugout, Neil Lennon and his slimy crew had to evade some orcs hurling coca cola at them.  The Celtic manager described the incident as 'unsavoury' which is coincidentally my least favourite kind of snack.  Give me a cheese board any day.