Thursday, 16 January 2014

Ronaldo is the best player in the world

Between the time that my laptop stopped working and now, Cristiano Ronaldo won the Ballon d'Or and cried a lot about it in front of people.  hoooraaayyyyyy


The sexy Portugesian accepted the prestigious award in front of an audience of footballers, their hot wives and some old people in an event held in Sepp Blatter's garden.  Lionel Messi continued his tradition of wearing the most awesome suits in the world ever by wearing this:


And while lots of newspapers have been saying he looks like Ron Burgundy, I think he looks sharp as fuck.  In other surprising truths, I also really want to bang his girlfriend.  The real story of the night however was the revelation that in their voting slips, Ronaldo and Messi both didn't vote for each other, with Messi voting for Iniesta, Xavi and Neymar as his three best players in the world and Ronaldo voting for Falcao, Mesut Ozil and hilariously, Gareth Bale.

Everyone should spare a thought for poor Franck Ribery though, since winning five trophies in one year hasn't seemed to have done him any use at all.  It's not easy looking like you've either fallen off the side of a cathedral or been created in a laboratory and it's even more difficult having to cancel a boat load of underage prostitutes for an after party on your iPhone while sitting at an awards ceremony