Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Manchester United have a war chest

I'm still not sure what a war chest is but if the papers are to be believed then by jove, David Moyes has one.

Depending on who you trust, the former Everton boss has either £50m, £100m or £200m or even 100trillion billion space euros or even 30 bit coins to spend on whichever players he chooses.  Except for the good ones since no-one wants to come and play for David Moyes.  Some fans are worried because their team looks exceptionally boring and shit at the moment, and Moyes' only purchase, Maroune Fellaini has been about as good a value for money as when you go to one of those Link cash machines that makes you buy your own money.

I think they can't really be mad because when you give someone a bunch of money when they've never had any to spend before it's not their fault.  That's like getting annoyed at your little shit of a nephew for buying in-app purchases on your iPad cos they didn't need a password and didn't know any better.  They totally knew.  Luckily I'm an understanding uncle though and merely punished him by introducing him to aggressive porn and how to read about serial killers on wikipedia.  Education is the key