Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Everyone hates Derek Riordan

Derek Riordan, or 'cunty chops' as he prefers to be known, has been without a club for over a year now and was crying about how nobody wants to be his friend or have him play for them.  Then Arbroath gave him an offer he couldn't refuse.  Except he did


The striker has been looking to relaunch his career as a bellend top class player by training with Alloa but even they don't want to sign him.  Surely destined for great things, Riordan was able to turn down an offer from Arbroath manager Paul Sheerin, who told the Scotsman:
“I got in touch with Derek, however he would rather take his chances elsewhere.”
Most clubs don't want him because he's not that good, 30, attacks people on nights out and is banned from every nightclub and bar in Edinburgh.  That last bit is hilarious.  It's a genuine achievement.  Some people have Champions League medals, others go down in local folklore as the boy who scored the last minute winner against 'rival team'.  Derek Riordan is remembered by bouncers for being that minky ex footballer who drinks Wee Beastie at half time