Thursday, 30 January 2014

Arsenal in talks with Julian Draxler

Arsenal are still trying to sign that guy you know from Football Manager, Julian Draxler, even though his name sounds like a 2014 CGI vampire movie.

This story's been going for a while now because apparently Wenger wants to turn him into a striker like he did with Robin Van Persie, except this time less rapey.

It is hoped that Draxler can be signed for about £30million since that sounds like a good amount for a player these days.  If he was £10m/15m then there's no point, and in fact paying £30m instantly makes him a better player because that's how money works.  It's also essential that Arsenal sign as many players as possible because according to top football pundits on TV like Robbie Savage and 'that journalist you haven't heard of' they just won't survive without more.  They might all die.

The Guardian say that Arsenal are currently in talks with Dick Law, Schalke's transfer negotiator.

I say that your Mum is in talks with Dick Law.