Thursday, 9 January 2014

Allardyce has turned to the dark side

Sam Allardyce still hasn't been fired yet, which is good because he likes his job.  What the fans don't know is that their hatred of him only makes him grow stronger


Despite looking like a fat man that got stuck in a car crushing machine, Sam and his perfectly square head have been given a vote of confidence by West Ham's owners who penned an open letter to the fans.  It read:
'I honestly have no idea what he's doing either but there's no one else better.  Do you really want Alex McLeish?  Exactly.  Now wise up'
But it wasn't enough so Sam sent an email which said:
"We've got to get out there, face the music and use it to anger us, make us mad, and win matches," 
"The players can't feel sorry for themselves. We are professionals and we've got to take the criticism thrown at us because that's what happens in the game at this level. 
"We've got to be man enough to take it on the chin and be determined enough to show people that what they think at this particular moment in time is wrong.
"You either come out fighting or you sink and die. I come out fighting as a manager and my staff and players are the same." 

In an interesting take on modern football tactics, Sam has clearly drawn on some historical methods from a pub team in the 1960s.  Back then a simple shout of "You there - be more manly" resulted in the striker scoring eight goals and returning home triumphantly to punch his wife in the face.  My god I miss the 60s