Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Newcastle want to charge media to interview players

Newcastle United are a never ending source of entertainment.  As soon as things look up and Alan Pardew gets manager of the month, Mike Ashley resumes his nefarious plan to be remembered as the greatest troll of all time.  Now this:

The club have tried a few things recently in order to increase revenue and this latest plan seems to be the most mental yet.  Ashley and co have decided to charge newspapers and the like for access to their players between match days, in an unprecedented move almost unanimously dismissed as idiotic amongst the press world.  But who wouldn't want to pay thousands to speak to Shola Ameobi about what his favourite bread is?

The packages for player access are graded as bronze, silver and gold so that the sources who pay the most for membership get extra access, sort of like joining a gym.  And like a gym, if anyone actually signs up, after a month or two they'll realise that they don't actually really need it at all because can just go to another cheaper gym, or even a free one, like the internet or doing push ups in my neighbour's garden.

If that doesn't make her horny, nothing will.