Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Jack Wilshere flips the bird

Oh Jack Wilshere, how could you? When I saw Jack Wilshere apparently giving the Man City fans the finger, I didn't believe my eyes. The FA have now confirmed he WILL be charged for being all sweary and corrupting the young kids who saw the evil man on TV.

Wilshere has until 6pm tomorrow to decide if he will fight the charge. I think he should stroll into the FA Headquarters and give them all the universal "wanker" gesture. Chances are he will get a one match ban and be forced to pay £20,000 - which using the footballer exchange rate, is the same price as an ice pole. 

There's something strangely empowering about giving someone the middle finger. I remember seeing Top Gun for the first time and thinking that giving the "bird" instantly earned you 1000 cool points. Maverick was the shit, gunning down Russians, or Chinese or whatever, playing volleyball with the boys and shagging his teacher. Strange to think that 20 years later he's given up the Air Force and become a really successful actor, who happens to believe in a religion based on aliens, that extorts money from people and pretends to be a an actual religion so they don't have to pay any taxes. If Wilshere was in Top Gun he would be Goose. Everyone's favourite for about 30 minutes, then he dies but nobody cares because Ramsey is much beter