Tuesday, 1 October 2013

The Zlatan burger

Zlatan is so awesome, he even has his own burger named after him called - "Le Zlatan"..obviously.

It may not look as sexy as the big Swede, but apparently if you eat the whole thing, you get a pain in your chest equivalent to a Zlatan roundhouse kick. For a mere 30EURO, the burger can be purchased at restaurant somewhere in Paris, which is a city wedged between Spain and the great ocean. Proud creator of the Zlatan burger Jean-Philippe Grandin, has claimed that - "not even Chuck Norris could fit this in his mouth" - which makes me want to punch him in the mouth.

It got me thinking about other food that could be inspired by footballers. Obviously you would have the Messi lasagne, the greatest food in the world. Why not try a delicious John Terry bratwurst? It looks like a massive cock. If you're feeling adventurous you could have the Korean inspired Neymar Stir-fry - made with actual pussy...cats. Or if you are a bit skint you could get the Gary Caldwell Kebab - it looks shit, it smells shit, it gives you the shits, it is shit. Gary Caldwell everyone.