Friday, 18 October 2013

Tahiti FA award 1 point for loss to "avoid sadness"

The Tahitian FA has decided that no longer should their population be miserable when a team suffers a loss by awarding a point for trying.  Really.


Here's the article.  I can completely understand why people in Tahiti would be so miserable.  Not only do they have to live in a tropical paradise but when they aren't drinking pineapple juice from a real life pineapple and having hot girls in bikinis wander around the island singing songs from the Jungle Book acapella, they sometimes lose games of football.  "NO MORE PAIN!" screamed the king of the island who I think lives in a tree house and now when a team loses they get a point.

It's finally happened: people get an award for just turning up to do something.  What is wrong with people?  You fucking lost, deal with it.  I'm from Aberdeen, which is in Scotland - not only do I not only think both my teams will lose most games they play, I actively expect it and I also live in a place where the chromatic scale goes from brown to grey and slightly lighter grey.

When Scotland do inevitably lose I just turn to beer because that's why they invented beer.  Someone needs to bring beer to Tahiti so they can know what true misery is, they don't know what they're missing out on.