Yes dear human, sit down, because levels of racism this high haven't been seen in years. Well..... cue racism chart:
But don't take the fitbathatba racism chart's word for it! The Sun went with this on their FRONT PAGE:
"ROY IN ANDROS MONKEY GAFFE"Which sounds like a great episode of a sitcom. 'What did Roy say' I hear you ask? let's find out.
It was half time, England were leading 1-0 in their crucial qualifying game. "How can I make sure we see out the rest of the game?" thought Roy, "I just need to keep them calm - I know! A joke. A joke is what we need". He turned to the anxious players, exhausted from the 45 minutes of football they'd put their collective hearts into.
"We're almost there lads. We're almost in Brazil, just keep it together and pass to Townsend"
"Which one's Townsend, boss?" said Daniel Sturridge between deep breaths. "He's that one over there, you know, the only good one". "What, because he's black?!" said Phil Jagielka. "Oh God no! I just meant he's good"
"Yeh sure thing boss" said Chris Smalling, rolling his eyes and nudging Wayne Rooney in the side.
"No no I never meant that! It's like.... ummm... have you heard about the space monkey?"
The players' blank expressions let Roy know what to do. He stood up on a box in the middle of the changing room and prepared to make everyone laugh like they'd never laughed before.