Friday, 18 October 2013

Paul Ince is a real jerk

Paul Ince has been banned from every stadium in the world for five games for being Paul Ince.  Also for threatening to break several officials' legs and stuff like that.

The Daily Mirror reports that:
Paul Ince received a five-match stadium ban after shouting 'I'll knock you f*****g out you c***' and "violently shoving" a fourth official during a match last month.
Well done, Paul.  I am so proud of you.  Not only did he do this, but he first got in trouble after throwing a water bottle into the crowd that hit a female spectator.  I can only assume this was by accident and he didn't just have a mental breakdown but I think the most likely explanation is that someone used his trigger word and in a lair on top of a mountain a hypnotherapist currently sits tapping a table and saying "Gooooooood.  Goooodddd".

Ince was only made more angry at the final whistle when the fourth official told him "that's it, yeeeessss, unleash your anger" and they had a light saber battle until everyone in the village was dead and Paul Ince was banned from every stadium in the world because he is too dangerous.  Like a holding midfield version of the hulk.  Or my penis.