Monday, 28 October 2013

Cheik Tiote faces Tony Hawk in court

Nobody is above the law, except footballers. Sometimes a footballer can be caught on CCTV committing a crime, witnessed by dozens of people and still they don't go to jail. When Cheik Tiote appeared in court, not even Tony Hawk could send him down..

By footballing standards, Tiote's crime was pretty weak - all he did was buy a fake driving license and try to swap it for a real one, what a pussy - he didn't even run anyone over. After successfully purchasing a fake Belgian driving license, Cheik sent it to the DVLA in Swansea to swap it for a UK one. Tony Hawk admitted that it was indeed a good forgery, but not good enough to trick a pro skateboarder.

Suspending imprisonment for 18 months, the judge took it easy on him for pleading guilty-  sentencing him to 180 hours of unpaid work. He was encouraged by the judge to assist others in the community and pass on his talent. I'm not sure the judge thought this through, his talent mainly consists of running around and kicking people, whilst fashioning a shit haircut.

It's not quite over yet, as he also plead not guilty to driving without insurance. That will be dealt with later. I'm not as good a lawyer as Tony Hawk and I cannot do a 900, but how could someone with a fake driving license have insurance? He also received a fine of £600 and six points for his fake license. He then jumped into his fake Ferrari and drove off into a fake sunset. Maybe this whole story is fake? I mean, I did take it from the Daily Mails website and they love making things up. Except racism, they really like racism.