Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Champions League roundup: Joe Hart is broken, Ozil good

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS doo dood do do dodo dodo do ddooo THE CHAMPIONS            TO ALL THOSE WHO BE....... THE CHAMPIOOOONNSSSSSSS dun dun dun DUN DUN DUUUN

that's the words I hear

TEUSDYA

Tuesday saw Arsenal absolutely pardew Napoli by scoring twice in the first twenty minutes.  Boggley eyed sex master Mesut Özil got the first with a classy finish in the 8th minute, and then handsome Dan himself, Olly Giroud, popped up to grab another goal for The Gunners.

meanwhile in Glasgow, Celtic fans learned what a sellout crowd at Celtic Park looks like after Barcelona paid a visit.  Part man, part origami, Neymar cleverly got Scott Brown sent off by making him kick him and then some guy scored that wasn't Messi.  I'm going to guess that it was Sonny Anderson.

Chelsea beat a team from somewhere like Romania 4-0 and Ramires took time out from looking permanently really hungry to score two.  A defender scored a very funny own goal which I recommend you find online and that's about all I know about this game.

There were some other teams who also played too.

WENDESDAY

Bayern Munich absolutely destroyed Man City for about 80 minutes until they got bored and started fannying about, at which point Negredo scored meaning the result was 3-1.  Joe Hart also made a right tit of himself by letting in two goals at his near post again and that guy Boateng got sent off.

Man United continued to entertain me by drawing against a team that I can't spell without double checking it, and over in Spain, Ronaldo beat whoever he was playing against.

And that concludes our roundup of the CHAMPIONS LEAGUE WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS DOO DOO DOOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO