Thursday, 12 September 2013

When G Bale met Ronaldo

Gareth Bale joined up with his new Real Madrid team-mates yesterday (I think) and he met Ronaldo, who is in another level of handsome.  Bale looks like a child on a movie set


Until Gareth Bale starts wearing sunglasses everywhere and having secret children he will never be in the same class as Ronaldo.  According to the new FIFA 14 rankings, Ronaldo is the 2nd best player in the game and Bale is the 17th.  Bale cost £86million and the strangest thing about that is that I really don't think anyone's too fussed - it's like when you get a council tax bill and you go 'for fucks sake why am I paying for a bunch of fatherless minks to go to a youth centre' but you've already got a direct debit so the money just goes straight out anyway.  You don't mind as much as if you had to actively pay the bill because it's not really your choice, and besides, everyone pays council tax and it is nice to have my bin taken away so I can keep putting empty pizza hut boxes smashed beer bottles filled with my tears inside.

Another interesting spin on the Bale tale, is just where on the pitch he's going to play.  Coming back to FIFA, I see he's registered as CF but there's no way he's playing there at Madrid.  My bet would be


Since that way both CRon and GBale can cut inside and punt the ball from 25 odd yards.  I'd still expect Barcelona to win the league this year but I have no idea who the favourites are.  You can get up to date odds at Betfair if you like.  Also, Modric is not a DMC so that's a good way to shove a £30million player somewhere on the pitch.  It's like when you ask a child what his fantasy team would be and he names 18 strikers with no thought to team cohesion.  It's also like when you ask Paul Ince what his fantasy team would be and he just looks at you and starts dribbling, before collapsing to the ground.

That picture up the top is of a combined £160million.  It's pretty mental when you think about it.  It's also weird how it feels like Bale has gone on some once in a lifetime trip to Real Madrid like he's won a competition.  Do you remember about 3 months ago when he was the best player in the Premier League?  You know, that really big league you watch all the time.  It's fairly important too.  I think.  Is it?