Wayne Rooney got kicked in the head by Phil Jones the other day and it resulted in this injury
I'm not sure why he decided to squash the image and post it on his Twitter, but he did and here it is. This is an extremely ugly man, there is no way of getting around it. He should have used the scar he's about to have to make himself more attractive, by giving it a better back story like that Phil Jones sacrificed himself in a battle against a dark wizard, giving Rooney the scar and that's why he's so good at football now.
Walcott said that Rooney's gash was like something out of a horror movie, which is a fairly appropriate comment and if Wayne Rooney did have a vagina it genuinely would be the most terrifying creature in all film history.