Monday, 16 September 2013

Genoa coach spied on Sampdoria dressed like Rambo

Genoa had to issue a statement this weekend denying any involvement with one of their coaches, who took it upon himself to dress up in camouflage and spy on Sampdoria on a personal mission.  Because why not

The youth coach, who is also the Grandson of Genoa's greatest ever goalkeeper and therefore very recognisable, was found hiding in a bush at Sampdoria's training ground after fans noticed strange movements in the woodland area next to the pitch, and also because they noticed that a fully grown man was hiding in a bush at a training ground.

After being spotted, he legged it, chased by two members of staff from the club until they foiled his master plan as he hid behind a tree dressed in full military attire.  I have exclusive transcripts from the scene:
"Hey uhhh you can come out now.  I can see you behind that tree.  Why are you.... Don't just shuffle around the other side I can still see you"
"I'm a tree" 
"But you're not a tree" 
"...I could be a tree" 
Sampdoria then released a statement:
"That the derby is a question of nerve, tactics and strategy we already knew, but frankly we could never expect that it could turn into an scene of espionage. 
"Like Rambo hidden among the branches on the hill, Luca De Pra, Genoa goalkeeping coach and man of noble footballing ancestry, failed to overcome Sampdoria's intelligence and counter intelligence operations.
"However, no prisoners were taken, and no blood was shed. Once tracked down and caught red-handed, the opposing side's soldier was let free to return to base. You should always forgive your enemies, as nothing annoys them more." 
Here's to you, weird Genoa youth coach.  I admire your tenacity and applaud your desire to spy on a training session against your rivals while hiding in a shrubbery, for no real reason.  If I ever meet this guy I will be so happy