Friday, 27 September 2013

Alex Ferguson will not be Ireland manager

Someone who works at Boylesports has revealed that they have had to dramatically cut the odds on Alex Ferguson becoming president of Ireland because some people bet a lot of money on it.

The bookmaker said:
“We laid some large bets on Sir Alex Ferguson at 66/1 on Friday morning and the cut him into 33/1. The support continued to come and we were forced to cut him again, into 20/1,”
Someone should remind this guy that he's in Ireland, which is famous for leprechauns, Bono and being absolutely shit faced.  This trend in betting started when Paddy, innocently drinking his 18th Guiness of the day, started telling everyone how good Ireland is and how it's the greatest player ever until someone said "why don't you live there" and then he started talking about how Alex Ferguson is going to be the next manager of Ireland to divert attention away from himself.  Similarly drunk, this man then put on a bet and told his mate that a magical leprechaun gave him a great tip on the weekend and that this must be the 'pot of gold' he's heard about in stories.

And just incase you were confusing midgets with leprechauns; midgets are real things and leprechauns are not.  I know this because I drowned one in the bath last Halloween.  Which reminds me actually, on an unrelated note, police still haven't found next door's child since the same time last year.  How sad.