Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Transfer round up of f**k all

It's starting to become a routine - wake up, go to work, have a coffee, take a caffeine infused morning dump whilst reading about no transfers happening. Bale - still at Spurs, Rooney - still at Manchester United, Suarez - still at Liverpool. Somebody throw a pie!

Really don't know why some people say Bale looks like a chimp. With Bale still unable to escape from AVB's bear-hug, it looks like another left-wing wizard might be on the move. Stewart Downing, who not so long ago cost Liverpool £20m could be on his way to Newcastle. Apparently Newcastle are willing to pay £5m for Downing - which represents good value if you like to pay people to run around a lot but don't mind if they don't score or assist any goals. Like buying a car that has a fully functioning engine and four wheels, but with no Ipod connectivity, or air con, or air bags, or seats, or steering wheel . I don't know how I let the salesman talk me into paying £6,000 for it.

If there is one thing for you to take away from this article, it's that Stewart Downing is like a really shit car that cost you a lot of money.