Spurs may have missed out on Willian to Chelsea, but that hasn't stopped AVB from telling Franco Baldini to buy all of the expensive players from his current save game on Football Manager. Next up: Hulk
The Tottenham manager wants to add Hulk to his list of attacking players but only if Zenit stop asking for £40million for him. This is in addition to the proposed transfer of Erik Lamela, who you probably know from FIFA, and some guy from Romania whose family will travel with him and pretend to be able to play various instruments like the accordion and the violin outside HMV.
It's all quite exciting at White Hart Lane and thanks to the magic of the penalty kick, the North London side boast a 100% record two games into the season. I can relate because I have a 100% record of being sexually aggressive, according to witness reports from that party I went to last week. Hopefully soon I will be able to stop hiding in my Uncle's shed but until then I will sit here and eat biscuits