Sunday, 28 July 2013

What cars do players drive

Footballers earn lots of money and some of them spend it on things like prostitutes, super injunctions and wine.  They also spend it on other things too!  Now I know what you're thinking, "I wonder what cars Premier League footballers drive" and luckily for you you're going to find out with an infographic that is in no way only here for monetary gain.  I just really care about cars, as you'll know from all the car related articles I've done in the past.  If there was one thing in life that I wanted to know more about, it's how cars work, why they cost so much and why we don't have flying ones yet.

Even more fascinating is thinking that if you have almost unlimited money, what car do you buy?  Personally I'd like one that talks, not like Brum, because Brum sucks and not like Knightrider because then I'd have to go on missions and stuff, which would require effort.  Definitely something that isn't talking to me like sat navs or Siri though, I hate that guy.

Did Brum talk?  Is this 150 words yet?  Yes.  Yes I think it is but of course that is only relevant to me for making sure this is easily readable for you, our loyal fans.

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I'm going to have to call shenanigans on Thierry Henry driving a £60,000 woman's car because wtf is he playing at and of course Ashley Cole just has to have one with wings.  See, there's your flying car I was talking about - I just didn't know they existed, although I do think it's strange that he'd have to fly around with no door to shut.  Maybe the doors aren't there so he can fire bazookas at people, or maybe even air rifles since he likes doing that.  Maybe I'm just talking bollocks but the only person who can know for sure is Jesus, because he knows everything.  It says so in a book and as we all know, books cannot lie.