Edinson Cavani has signed a 5 year deal with Paris St Germain because the French league is really good now. Conveniently he's being paid loads of money but that's just because he has so many muscles #dreamboat
See, a girl at my *real* work thinks this guy is super handsome but I just can't help but feel that he permanently looks like you've just asked him about Syria. Luckily for the striker, he is worth a cool £55million even though I've never seen him do anything remotely amazing. Maybe it's my ignorance to a dying Serie A, maybe it's my scepticism at a billionaire buying someone he's heard of, but I'm pretty sure this is like when your Dad buys a painting and spends the next 5 years trying to justify why he did it.
"Don't you get it? It's a disabled guy and the girl is quite hot"