Thursday, 18 July 2013

Papiss Cisse loves religion so much

Papiss Cisse has decided that he cannot wear Newcastle's training kit because it has a Wonga sponsor on it and his god, who absolutely hates Wonga, would be mega pissed about it.  SOLD


We all know about the whole 'Muslims don't like having fun' rule and part of this religion is that for the greater good, no one should promote companies like Wonga because they are evil.  Back in 1843 when the Lizard Emperor first wrote the bible, this day was actually predicted.  The script read:
And lo, Papiss Cisse was left at home while all his mates went and had fun in Portugal and played football.  He did was then sold to some team in Germany or wherever, have you seen the remote control I mean be good to your neighbour
Some of the more moderate Islamic followers like Hatem Ben Arfa and the other ones at Newcastle have decided to go ahead with training, because it is their FUCKING JOB.  So far, none of the other Muslims have died or been struck with the plague and judging by how incredibly insensitive the tone of this article is, I think that might be because most of it is being saved up to put in an envelope to send to my house.  Luckily for me I've been keeping snakes in my room so I have anti venom to stop the plague.  The only problem is that I have loads of snakes everywhere

Also I'm terrified of snakes

I NEED TO THINK THESE PLANS THROUGH