Thursday, 25 July 2013

John Henry is soooo funny, Arsenal genuinely are

Arsenal submitted a £40million and £1 bid for Luis Suarez this week to trigger a clause in his contract that means he is allowed to speak to other clubs about playing for them.  Liverpool owner John Henry put on his funny glasses


What do you think they're smoking over there at Emirates?  I think they are smoking a cigar because they qualified for the Champions League and don't live in an area where car thefts per night outnumber the amount of people who gain school qualifications.  It could also be to celebrate that their captain didn't batter a DJ because he wouldn't put on his iPod or it could be because this incredibly devious plan actually worked.

Suarez is now entitled to talk to Wenger and listen about all the great books he's read that week or the documentary on Hiroshima on Netflix, or whatever it is he speaks about and Liverpool can't really do anything about it.  They want £50million for him now, but much like the scene in Peep Show where Mark tries to buy his phone back, that figure could in theory just keep increasing until deadline day when the Anfield club suddenly realises that they still haven't sold him and they can't afford not to.

That's actually probably Wenger's plan because who wants to buy a racist for £50million?  He should be in that section of Tesco where the tins have a massive dent in them except instead of a dent the soup doesn't trust gangs of black youths