It was only 3 seasons ago that Chelsea spent £50million on this guy. 3 years. Before his move he carried a Liverpool side, was Spain's number 1 striker with no questions asked, and he won a grand total of fuck all. He realised quickly that the solution was to become incredibly shit, and after carrying out his master plan and make his brain forget various cognitive skills he had acquired over years of training and life, he won the Champions League, Europa League, World Cup and Euro Championships.
He also won the golden boot for the Euros and the Confederations, despite being largely useless. My plan to improve at my job is to turn up pissed, be sexually inappropriate to my co-workers and outsource all of my work to someone in China. If Fernando's New Business Model really works, I expect a pay rise any day now