Monday, 1 July 2013

David Moyes starts his new job

David Moyes started his new job today and immediately hired Steve Round as his assistant, and some other guys also from Everton.  Exciting.

Since retiring, Sir Alex Ferguson was followed out of the club by Rene Meulensteen and some other less important people but Moyes has been quick to sort out his backroom staff.  Next he's going to do a staff search for scouts with current ability and potential both at 20, design three new formations that are completely unbeatable and then submit enquiry bids for most of the footballers he's ever heard of at the big clubs.

If that gets boring he's also going to take control of Juventus and choose a player determined at random to offer a longterm contract too, then fine him every week for no reason until he becomes a wreckage of a human being.  Demoted to the under 19s and now in vast debt to the club he is contracted to, Moyes will cackle with delight as it becomes more and more ridiculous that he is allowed to infringe on someone's human rights even in a computer game.  I mean real life.

He also plans to let the assistant take charge of friendlies because nobody enjoys those.